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When September Ends...

When I came up with this idea, I was walking across the middle of a beach in Cornwall. I was just thinking about my blog and stumbled across the idea of a mental health month. "No stress with El? Anxiety free with me? September Anxiety?" I was doing the face I do, where I crinkle all of my features into the middle. It's my 'I don't know what to do and need to think face'. 
"Stress free September," my Dad said. It was more of a statement then a question: we both knew that was the right name.

I wrote it down when I got home, thinking that it would be one of those ideas that I consider, but never get around to doing. Something I like, but can't develop (WTF- my wednesday fashion series- has been a work in progress since January 2016). Something that's good in theory but I can never fit in (four custard creams in my mouth all at once). Those are the special pieces of my brain that get to live out their life in the memos of my phone; they only see the light of day when I open them up to find an address. Eventually, they get die- slash get deleted- and are forgotten about entirely.

This was different.

I realised, after thinking about it for a while, that my series had potential. I plotted it into my upload schedule and started to consider ideas... I was still doing well! 'Stress free September' had jumped over every hurdle so I had to put it up. Or not. I had a lot of last minute jitters. Everything I wanted to say was pretty personal and so many things would be hard to put into words and and and... But then I understood something: so many other teenagers feel like this too. How many people can't put their thoughts into words? How many feel they have no where to go? If a post of mine helped even one person then it would have been a success.

In real life, as well as my blog, this month has taught me how much I love to help people. It's a great thing! It can be a little thing, like how I've gotten into the habit of taking my friends book in (no matter where he is in the classroom) or messaging someone who's looked down in the day. Just a small thing can make someone's day. As I mentioned, I went through a really bad patch of anxiety last December and didn't feel too great about myself. One day, a girl I vaguely knew genuinely asked me how I was- she's now one of my best friends- and it meant so much to me. You never know how people are really feeling, so the little acts of kindness could have a serious effect on someone: one that they'll remember.

Memories flow through your brain like marbles. Picture it like Inside Out. Something happens, your brain has a cheeky look at it, figures out where to put it, then sends it down the chute so you can bring it back whenever you want. I love to imagine that process. There's another version, though, one that's not so perfect. When something traumatic happens, your brain can't process it into a full marble so little pieces of it splinter through out your brain and sticks itself to the wrong things. This month, I've tried hard to put some of them back together. I've been deep diving into my brain to pull out the shards that have ended up in the wrong place. That process was hard but will be beneficial in the long run. 

I've made some fantastic memories this month; my best friends birthday party; having dinner with a big group of people I don't know; freedom festival; making a good start to the school year. I'm happy to say that these are all mainly splinter free. I hope you can make progress with whatever you've started this month. Tell me in the comments how you're doing and what your October goals are. Have a good week!


Thanks for Reading
El  

Comments

  1. Delightful,ruminative post! Your dad must be proud of you,for making amazing memories in September! I will say, if any month couldn't go ANY quicker, it was September. Although I am now used to waking up in the morning and attending school, it still feels like the early days of September. I can't believe how quick it's sped by.🍁🍂🍃 Hope you have an "optimistic October"! (that was bad, wasn't it?😂😂)

    #sweetreats xxx www.bakingboutiquebirds.blogspot.co.uk/

    ReplyDelete
  2. No it was great, I appreciate the alliteration! And I honestly can't believe that it's already October. A lot of great things will be happening this month though and I hope it's all going well for you. Have an optimistic October! xox

    ReplyDelete
  3. Such a lovely post El! I'm hoping to get a lot of my college work out of the way so I can focus a bit more on my blog and chill.

    Sophie xx // One Unique

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