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The Best Summer of My Life

This will be the summer that I fall back in love with life. It's not that I'm currently out but I feel like I've lost my zest, like some of the sparkle has been drowned out. Honestly, I am still trying to recover from the past school year. Things have been quite difficult. I've made and lost friends, struggled with school work and only just managed to keep myself above water. I had to invest so much into staying afloat and all of the effort I put into every aspect of life made me lose some passion. For me, at least, passion comes from something you choose to do and choose to love; all of the things I did became less from choice and more from sheer necessity.  

That urge to keep swimming spurred me forward through the days and the weeks and the months. I knew that I was only surviving, not really living and that's never what I wanted to be doing. So, during all of it, I promised myself that summer would be perfect. I have been building up an image of a summer so good, that every other summer before and after can't deal with it. That one- very big- hope was my lilo for the second half of the year.

When things got too much and the waves got too big, I'd just lean into that dream and let it float me above the water. This mythical six weeks were what my thoughts would always drift to. They were far away enough for it to feel like a journey but close enough for my fantasies to feel worth while. Unfortunately, now they're here. That is unfortunate for a few reasons... 1) I have nothing major to look forward to 2) They might not live up to my expectations 3) It's all over in four more weeks!

One and three don't scare me that much: it's Christmas soon and that's 28 days, which is 672 hours, which is way more than enough time! Two, however, is a completely different kettle of fish, and one that does slightly worry me. I just don't want to be let down. After such a long time of hopes and wishes, I just want this to exceed my expectations (or at the very least, match up to them). 

I want to spend time with the people I love and invest my effort in to what I want. I want passion to fill me back up and overflow through out. I want to do the fish trail with one of my new best friends; I want to have a sunset picnic with my old best friend; I want to hug the friend I've had since I was born when she gets back. I want to fill my scrapbook with memories. I want to fall back in love with life.


Thanks for Reading
El  

Comments

  1. I know exactly how you were feeling! I've been feeling the same way recently. My blog is currently pulling me through and the opportunities it's bringing ❤️ Lovely post x

    Sophie xx // www.oneunique.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aww, Sophie, I hope you get back into the swing of things soon xx

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